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Poem: "Where You Find Light"
21 Apr 2026 22:26![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysabetwordsmithThis poem came out of the August 5, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from dialecticdreamer, rix_scaedu, and jake67jake. It also fills the "Before the Fact" square in my 8-1-25 card for the Crime Classics Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by janetmiles. It belongs to the Big One thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It is the first in a triptych, followed by "When You Learn to Read" and "No Faster or Firmer Friendships."
( Read more... )
dialecticdreamer, rix_scaedu, and jake67jake. It also fills the "Before the Fact" square in my 8-1-25 card for the Crime Classics Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by janetmiles. It belongs to the Big One thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It is the first in a triptych, followed by "When You Learn to Read" and "No Faster or Firmer Friendships."( Read more... )
Wildlife
21 Apr 2026 17:23ysabetwordsmithChimpanzees Have Entered The Stone Age
Kanzi learned how to make and use sharp stone flakes.
( Read more... )
Kanzi learned how to make and use sharp stone flakes.
( Read more... )
a happy Monday
21 Apr 2026 20:54cosmolinguistYesterday ended up so unexpectedly nice, I wanted to record it.
D messaged me mid-afternoon to say that circuits was happening again that evening. I used to love transgym circuits, I did that as well as lift club almost every week and I've never been happier. But then our usual awesome trainer stopped doing circuits, which is fair enough but I was/am so used to their style and so comfy with it, and then the replacement started doing more of a boxing style fitness class, which was not to my taste (or accessibility needs: my lack of depth perception was posing too much of a problem) and then I kept being busy on those nights or whatever and I just stopped going some time last fall I think.
But I've really missed circuits; I love circuits. It feels like such a good workout for me: I can do even exercises I hate for a minute or two at a time, I never get bored, and I feel at the end like I've really Done Something. I used to have to bring bandanas to tie around my head to keep from getting too much sweat in my eyes, and I forgot to do that last night and really missed it! Because it's hard work.
And most of the people there weren't our usual old circuits people but people I knew from lift club who hadn't been to circuits before (or, did it like once a very long time ago or whatever). Including one of my favorites, who I said I'd meet outside and go in with together. I was really excited for him because I thought he'd love circuits and he did.
And, when I suddenly found myself with plans to be out for the evening I thought I'd start dinner prep right after work -- i did this last Friday when I went to yoga. But as I was still peeling sweet potatoes, D came downstairs, having finished work earlier than usual, and offering to help. So we just made all of my very easy plan for dinner (bangers and mash) and I had plenty of time to eat before going to the gym. It was lovely to spend the time together, it made an easy thing easier but also just so much more fun: being silly together in the nice sunny kitchen (I'm still not used to it being that bright at dinner time! it wasn't totally dark when I was getting showered after the gym, at about 9pm! bliss).
And I'm very glad I was able to eat beforehand: even with V warning me as I left the house "take it easy! you're out of practice!", even though I did take it easy, I was so sore by the time I got home. I knew not to sit down before I got upstairs and in the shower because I'd never stand up again. But I was so happy, too -- and it wasn't just the endorphins making me think that.
All I want to say about this
21 Apr 2026 20:38cosmolinguistTomorrow, I'm having an initial video consultation with a clinic that doesn't rule people out because of BMI.
I really didn't want to have to travel for surgery (it makes what's already an indescribably big deal so much bigger), but it's looking like this is my only option.
Birdfeeding
21 Apr 2026 11:45ysabetwordsmithToday is mostly sunny and mild.
I fed the birds. I've seen a few house finches and a brown-headed cowbird. Several vultures were circling low over the yard, but by the time I grabbed my camera, they were gone.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- We went out to DeBurh's. I picked up a different brand of sun/shade grass mix that should be without chemicals. I also picked out a flat of small single pots, a flat of 4-packs, and a few extras in larger pots.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
I've seen a male cardinal and a fox squirrel.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I planted a large rectangular pot with four purple and pink plants and one pink-and-yellow verbena.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I planted a pot with a yellow-and-white nemesia, a small yellow flower, and a small white flower. This completes the leftover plants from yesterday.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
I watered plants.
As it is now dark, I am done for the night.
I fed the birds. I've seen a few house finches and a brown-headed cowbird. Several vultures were circling low over the yard, but by the time I grabbed my camera, they were gone.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- We went out to DeBurh's. I picked up a different brand of sun/shade grass mix that should be without chemicals. I also picked out a flat of small single pots, a flat of 4-packs, and a few extras in larger pots.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
I've seen a male cardinal and a fox squirrel.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I planted a large rectangular pot with four purple and pink plants and one pink-and-yellow verbena.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I planted a pot with a yellow-and-white nemesia, a small yellow flower, and a small white flower. This completes the leftover plants from yesterday.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 4/21/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
I watered plants.
As it is now dark, I am done for the night.
Magpie Monday
21 Apr 2026 00:07ysabetwordsmithdialecticdreamer is hosting Magpie Monday with a theme of "Recovering from Setbacks." Leave prompts, get ficlets!Human sexuality is not black and white.
20 Apr 2026 17:02fayanoraSaw a post on YouTube (not a video) where someone assumed a 12 year old being pregnant was a rape victim, and the comments were all in agreement. Excuse me? Twelve year old boys exist. Twelve is plenty old enough for a boy to start producing sperm. Hell, my sister had her first period when she was eleven. Puberty makes kids horny, and they experiment with each other. It happens. Hell, I was having sex with people my own age when I was as young as eight. I was never molested, so I wasn't recreating abuse, this was consenting sex between two people the same age. It was gay sex, but still, proves that kids can be horny & have sex with each other, so rape doesn't have to be a factor.
Sure, if there's a big enough age gap, it should be assumed to be rape at some point, but two kids the same age CAN consent to sex with one another. But just because a 12 yo girl is pregnant doesn't mean it was necessarily rape. Minors can consent to sex with each other, just not with adults.
Sure, if there's a big enough age gap, it should be assumed to be rape at some point, but two kids the same age CAN consent to sex with one another. But just because a 12 yo girl is pregnant doesn't mean it was necessarily rape. Minors can consent to sex with each other, just not with adults.
Space Exploration
20 Apr 2026 18:22ysabetwordsmithTopographic map reveals vast ocean on Mars three billion years ago
Across the northern lowlands, the terrain holds an unusually broad belt of flat ground far below Mars’ reference level.
Tracing that belt across the planet, Abdallah S. Zaki at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), linked it to the kind of coastal margin oceans leave behind on Earth.
Rather than preserving one sharp edge, that ancient coast seems to have survived as a wide zone built and reshaped over long stretches of time.
Across the northern lowlands, the terrain holds an unusually broad belt of flat ground far below Mars’ reference level.
Tracing that belt across the planet, Abdallah S. Zaki at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), linked it to the kind of coastal margin oceans leave behind on Earth.
Rather than preserving one sharp edge, that ancient coast seems to have survived as a wide zone built and reshaped over long stretches of time.
Orphan-crushing machine as a real thing.
20 Apr 2026 13:43fayanoraHad a dream just a bit ago wherein the orphan-crushing machine, instead of being a metaphor to help us understand capitalism, was literally real. But we also had what I'm calling a billionaire-crushing machine.
See, these were two halves of a brand new, clean-burning, renewable energy source. The orphan-crushing machine basically extracted everything good and beautiful and right about humanity from the orphans that it crushed, while the billionaire-crushing machine crushed evil people like billionaires and serial killers and so on to extract all the worst things about humans, all the evil and darkness and so on.
Then when you've got full tanks of both, you take tiny but equal amounts of both orphanite and billionairium, reintroduce them in a controlled environment, and the resulting explosions create steam which powers turbines for a very green renewable energy source. Like, you can even store tanks of these substances on a rocket and use it as rocket fuel to get into space.
In the dream, the stuff that you get from crushing billionaires was called dark matter, but honestly the two substances act more like matter and antimatter. I think the only reason the billionairium was being called dark matter was because it was a roiling cloud of darkness.
The names billionairium and orphanite are names that I made up for them after waking up, because the two substances didn't have names in the dream. The billionaire-crushing machine also didn't have a name, it was only the orphan-crushing machine that had a name.
See, these were two halves of a brand new, clean-burning, renewable energy source. The orphan-crushing machine basically extracted everything good and beautiful and right about humanity from the orphans that it crushed, while the billionaire-crushing machine crushed evil people like billionaires and serial killers and so on to extract all the worst things about humans, all the evil and darkness and so on.
Then when you've got full tanks of both, you take tiny but equal amounts of both orphanite and billionairium, reintroduce them in a controlled environment, and the resulting explosions create steam which powers turbines for a very green renewable energy source. Like, you can even store tanks of these substances on a rocket and use it as rocket fuel to get into space.
In the dream, the stuff that you get from crushing billionaires was called dark matter, but honestly the two substances act more like matter and antimatter. I think the only reason the billionairium was being called dark matter was because it was a roiling cloud of darkness.
The names billionairium and orphanite are names that I made up for them after waking up, because the two substances didn't have names in the dream. The billionaire-crushing machine also didn't have a name, it was only the orphan-crushing machine that had a name.
Half-Price Sale in Polychrome Heroics
20 Apr 2026 13:40ysabetwordsmithThis week, the poetry of Polychrome Heroics is on sale for half price from Monday, April 20 through Sunday, April 26. This series is superhero fantasy. It features themes of heroism, coming of age, diversity, identity kink, family of choice, friendship, and cultural engineering. Sale prices range from $5 to $319, so hopefully there will be something for everyone.
Prices on open epics are locked at the time of opening; however, if anyone wants to donate to open epics and buy poetry, spending $100 will get you the quarter-price rate on the new poems, regardless of the rate on the open epic(s) you support. There are no open epics at present, so you may open one if you wish.
We are repeating the special discount for purchases of $100 or more, in which you get poetry at 25% of its original price instead of 50%. (Note that this increases the amount of poetry you get, rather than reducing the amount of money spent; the point is to get this stuff off of my desk. Yes, I can afford it.) That size of donation also makes you a k-fan which comes with some other perks, like a year-end collection of a poetic series. If several folks want to bundle their orders to make the $100 threshold and have one person send it all, that's okay; you'll get the discount and I'll list all your names as donors, but you'll have to decide amongst you who gets the k-fan credit. If you host a pool, please close it the day before the sale closes, so you have time to collect funds and turn them in on time.
Some of the poems are in sequence of related action, so in places there are prerequisites before a poem can be published. They can be sponsored at any time, just might have to wait for publication until something else gets posted first. Those are marked accordingly. I have also made lists of poems which unlock sequels, and poems which have prerequisites.
Linkback perk: The following poems have verses left to reveal. Boost the signal for this half-price sale and tell me which poem you want to extend.
"A Sense of Weather Changes"
"The Loving Embrace of Night"
"Generations of Cooks Past"
"Homefree and Clear "
"One Bite at a Time"
"Mishpocha"
"Changing Your Nature"
"Besa"
About characters and storylines: The storylines feature multiple characters, so if you want poems about ONE specific character, look closely. The thumbnail descriptions here give some indication who features in each poem. The storyline pages are adding precise, complete information about which characters appear in each poem. If you need more than what's already visible, you can ask me.
About timing: If you want maximum choice, shop early. We usually send a batch of things to my father near the end of a sale, and those poems will be posted as I have time.
About pools: Yes, you can combine your funds with other prompters to get the quarter-price rate. Yes, you can combine your funds with other prompters to buy a bigger poem. Yes, you can offer to match donations by other people. However, the wordsmith is not also a math whiz! After several attempts to find a way that I can work with pools and matches, I have concluded that this is over my head. (I did figure out how to avoid generating fractional pennies, though: all initial prices are now whole dollars, which means they cut evenly into halves and quarters.) So if you want to host a pool or a match, make a post for that in your blog or other venue, then comment here with what you're doing and include a link to wherever the discussion will be. You figure out the poems, you collect the funds, and when stuff is fully funded, you send me the money and the list of what it's for. Then I'll post the goodies. Please close the pool in time to collect donations by the end of the sale, so I can start posting pool poems no later than the day after the sale.
Before placing your order, please check this sale page to see what is still unsold! I will try to update the page as things sell, and it's likely to be the case that some poems will be marked SOLD before appearing in posts. People often buy things in batches, which means that selling gets ahead of posting. Also sometimes people ask for the same thing at the same time, so that not all overlaps are preventable. If you have alternate instructions in case you request something that has just sold, please include that in your message; otherwise I'll email you back and ask what you want to do.
Poems that unlock sequels: "Where You Find Light," "When You Learn to Read," "Your Emotional Abilities"
Poems that have prerequisites: "When You Learn to Read," "No Faster or Firmer Friendships," "A Beautiful Paradox"
FOR SALE
25 poems, $3,109 ÷ 2 = $1,554.50
prices from $5 to $319
THE BIG ONE (4 poems,
"Our Homemade Safety Nets"
Story Date: 2016-2017
Summary: Blainn never intended to stay in Mercedes -- or anywhere -- but it has turned out better than he expected.
364 lines,
These poems form a triptych, to be posted in order:
"Where You Find Light"
Story Date: Early June, 2016
Summary: Josué and Aidan set up a house for earthquake refugees, complete with books.
422 lines,
janetmiles "When You Learn to Read"
Story Date: Monday, June 13, 2016
Summary: Josué reads aloud to refugee children.
286 lines,
"No Faster or Firmer Friendships"
Story Date: Monday, June 13, 2016
Summary: Josué and Maria-Vera read together.
515 lines,
KRAKEN (3 poems,
"The Frequent Passage from Hand to Hand"
Story Date: April 2002
Summary: Kraken appreciates BookCrossing.
56 lines, was $20, sale price $10
"Filled with Things You Don't Know"
Story Date: Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Summary: Marjane works on library decor and gets a new assistant.
98 lines, was $49, sale price $24.50
"Lágrimas da Floresta Tropical"
Story Date: Monday, November 17, 2014
Summary: Pinion and Camberhawk team up with Kayapó forest guardians to stop a logging incursion.
170 lines, was $85, sale price $42.50
RUTLEDGE (5 poems, was $867, sale price $433.50)
"Nothing Like Looking"
Story Date: Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Summary: Aria visits Rutledge as part of Many Paths Up the Mountain.
466 lines, was $233, sale price $116.50
"Your Emotional Abilities"
Story Date: Saturday, May 30, 2015
Summary: Amethyst gives Johan some ideas about accommodations that might help cope with his current challenges.
366 lines, was $183, sale price $91.50
"Shag Carpet Cuddles"
Story Date: June 2015
Summary: The Vermont Shag Carpet Cats love snuggling with people.
19 lines, was $10, sale price $5
"A Beautiful Paradox"
Story Date: Friday, June 5, 2015
Summary: Johan loses his temper
259 lines, was $130, sale price $65
Available for posting after "Your Emotional Abilities" has been sponsored and published.
"Learning New Skills"
Story Date: Sunday, June 12, 2016
Summary: Wrenley Immen teaches her new neighbor about gardening.
311 lines, was $311, sale price $155.50
Double price for research.
SHIV (5 poems, was $264, sale price $132)
"The Graffiti of the Rich"
Story Date: Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Summary: When someone paints over a graffit wall, Shiv leaves a pointed message.
28 lines, was $15, sale price $7.50
"Let the Glass Make Itself"
Story Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Summary: Dale Chihuly rebuilds after the Big One.
45 lines, was $20, sale price $10
"An Expression That Crosses Boundaries"
Story Date: Saturday, July 9, 2016
Summary: Shiv and Pain's Gray make treats to celebrate Rutledge setting up a teleport hub, and they visit Kardal at the Syrian Foods truck.
236 lines, was $118, sale price $59
"Always Guided by Passion"
[Morning of Saturday, September 17, 2016]
Summary: Shiv discusses graffiti with Bo-Art and Creamjeans.
51 lines, was $20, sale price $10
"Never Turn Your Back"
Story Date: Thursday, October 6, 2016
Summary: An incident at college leaves Shiv striving to rescue a classmate.
182 lines, was $91, sale price $45.50
OTHER POLYCHROME POEMS (8 poems, was $1978, sale price $989)
"The Four Marks of True Repentance"
Story Date: Monday, August 13, 2013
Summary: Three former child soldiers move to America.
953 lines, was $477, sale price $238.50
"When Everyone Around You Has Theirs Bowed"
Story Date: Sunday, April 6, 2014
Summary: Therapy for men's genital injury tends to focus on loss, but Marvis Willing knows the proud history of eunuchs.
304 lines, was $152, sale price $76
"Let's Go on This Journey Together"
Story Date: Monday, September 29, 2014
Summary: After breaking his arm, Linus gets a lot of support from his friends.
638 lines, was $638, sale price $319
Double price for research.
"Hear a Thousand Stars Singing"
Story Date: Night of Sunday, October 25, 2015
Summary: Fascinated by the idea of becoming a robonaut, Quain takes up stargazing.
28 lines, was $15, sale price $7.50
"Far Stronger Links"
Story Date: Friday, September 4, 2015
Summary: A coworker's loss inspires support at work.
515 lines, was $258, sale price $129
"Aim a Little Above It"
Nagi deals with a young man who tries to rob her.
260 lines, was $130, sale price $65
"Formidable Tasks of Adaptation"
Story Date: Sunday, March 20, 2016
Summary: Denim has had enough of her parents' shit.
359 lines, was $180, sale price $90
"Upholding It, Wherever Found"
Story Date: Thursday, November 3, 2016
Summary: Gail Somerville works for Interpol, but feels increasingly uncomfortable with it.
256 lines, was $128, sale price $64
Birdfeeding
20 Apr 2026 12:55ysabetwordsmithToday is mostly sunny and cool.
I fed the birds. I've seen several house finches and a fox squirrel.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted a flat parsley and a curly parsley in a trough pot, then sowed both kinds of parsley seeds around them.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted two million bells in the barrel garden, one solid red and the other streaked in shades of yellow and orange.
I planted the solid black petunia and the black-and-yellow pom-pom petunia in one pot of black pansies, and the burgundy oxalis in another pot of black pansies.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- In one white pot, I planted two portulaca, one yellow and the other orange streaked. In another white pot, I planted two more portulaca, one pink-and-white striped and the other solid white.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted two pots, each with four dianthus pinks around a dusty miller artemesia. One set of dianthus is white with pink streaks, the other pink with a darker center.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted the two white owl pots. One has two dark purple torenia and a dusty miller artemesia. The other has a purple-and-yellow million bells, a purple-and-white nemesia, and a dusty miller artemesia.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I watered all the newly planted things.
I finished planting the older flat of flowers. I did not finish the newer flat, but I'm down to clusters for two pots: one yellow and white flowers, one shades of pink, red-violet, and burgundy. Not bad for a day's work.
I fed the birds. I've seen several house finches and a fox squirrel.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted a flat parsley and a curly parsley in a trough pot, then sowed both kinds of parsley seeds around them.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted two million bells in the barrel garden, one solid red and the other streaked in shades of yellow and orange.
I planted the solid black petunia and the black-and-yellow pom-pom petunia in one pot of black pansies, and the burgundy oxalis in another pot of black pansies.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- In one white pot, I planted two portulaca, one yellow and the other orange streaked. In another white pot, I planted two more portulaca, one pink-and-white striped and the other solid white.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted two pots, each with four dianthus pinks around a dusty miller artemesia. One set of dianthus is white with pink streaks, the other pink with a darker center.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I planted the two white owl pots. One has two dark purple torenia and a dusty miller artemesia. The other has a purple-and-yellow million bells, a purple-and-white nemesia, and a dusty miller artemesia.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 4/20/26 -- I watered all the newly planted things.
I finished planting the older flat of flowers. I did not finish the newer flat, but I'm down to clusters for two pots: one yellow and white flowers, one shades of pink, red-violet, and burgundy. Not bad for a day's work.
Pills
20 Apr 2026 07:57fayanoraGrowing up autistic and ADHD came with a lot of challenges growing up, and one thing in particular that drove my parents insane was my inability to learn how to swallow pills. It did not simply take me years to learn to swallow pills; while I was able to swallow pills by the time I was a teenager -- out of necessity because of all the headaches that I have long been prone to -- I did not really truly master swallowing pills until about five or so years ago. Even now, I still have to turn any distractions off that I can, and concentrate on what I'm doing very carefully, because any lapse in concentration means I will choke on those pills and spit them and the water everywhere.
This extreme difficulty in learning how to swallow pills especially annoyed my mom, who would frequently and exasperatedly proclaim that she didn't understand how it was that I couldn't swallow a simple little pill when I could swallow huge pieces of food after barely chewing them at all.
That being the preliminary to what I am about to say: I sincerely wish that in those early childhood years, that I had had the vocabulary and thought processes necessary to tell my parents the following =
"But it's NOT food! It looks and feels like a small toy, like maybe a Lego piece. You spent years teaching me to not swallow little toys like pieces of Lego. And now you expect me to unlearn all those years of training in order to swallow something that looks and feels like a toy? Like a choking hazard? A choking hazard that, by the way, does NOT go down easily like food does."
Seriously, pills tend to stick to the inside of my mouth even when I've got water in it, and it takes me a fair amount of concentration swirling the water around in my mouth to dislodge them and get them to travel in the same direction to get them to the optimal part of my mouth to rapidly swallow them. This is not a simple process at all, even at age 43. I literally have to focus very hard with as few distractions as possible to get it done even now.
And yes, I genuinely think that a big part of that process is deliberately bypassing decades of deep-seated training from my early childhood to not swallow choking hazard things like pieces of Lego, legitimately.
Because it isn't just that I have difficulty swallowing pills, it's also the fact that if I put anything in my mouth that is not food or drink or someone's genitals or breasts, a countdown clock immediately starts in my brain somewhere, rapidly counting down on a timer, and I have to remove the thing from my mouth as quickly as possible before I start to gag. Because my gag reflex is extremely sensitive and has been for as long as I can remember. And everything I've said before now explains that gag reflex.
This gag reflex is so strong and so sensitive that all I have to do to activate it is hold something in my mouth. A piece of paper, a key, a mitten, just about anything that isn't food, drink, or a lover's body part. The second I hold just about anything in my mouth that doesn't meet those criteria, then I'm doing really good if I can hold on to that in my mouth for 10 seconds before I start to gag.
Honestly, the fact that I can put a pill in my mouth and NOT gag is a bloody fucking miracle. And the fact that I have gotten to the point where I can swallow up to 10 pills at a time is to a miracle as a miracle is to an everyday occurrence. And I once more reiterate that even swallowing a single pill at my age of 43 requires quite a bit of concentration and silence. Even as recently as a couple weeks ago, that concentration got broken by something and I coughed and hacked all those pills everywhere. Even as recently as a month or two ago, one of these failed attempts resulted in me puking on the floor. The failed attempts to swallow pills don't happen very often, but it does happen at least once every one or two months.
Hell, sometimes I still fail to swallow a pill even when nothing breaks my concentration, because every so often the pills will just not cooperate and will do something in there to hit that gag reflex and send them flying.
So yeah, add that to the mile high pile of things I wish my parents had understood when I was growing up.
This extreme difficulty in learning how to swallow pills especially annoyed my mom, who would frequently and exasperatedly proclaim that she didn't understand how it was that I couldn't swallow a simple little pill when I could swallow huge pieces of food after barely chewing them at all.
That being the preliminary to what I am about to say: I sincerely wish that in those early childhood years, that I had had the vocabulary and thought processes necessary to tell my parents the following =
"But it's NOT food! It looks and feels like a small toy, like maybe a Lego piece. You spent years teaching me to not swallow little toys like pieces of Lego. And now you expect me to unlearn all those years of training in order to swallow something that looks and feels like a toy? Like a choking hazard? A choking hazard that, by the way, does NOT go down easily like food does."
Seriously, pills tend to stick to the inside of my mouth even when I've got water in it, and it takes me a fair amount of concentration swirling the water around in my mouth to dislodge them and get them to travel in the same direction to get them to the optimal part of my mouth to rapidly swallow them. This is not a simple process at all, even at age 43. I literally have to focus very hard with as few distractions as possible to get it done even now.
And yes, I genuinely think that a big part of that process is deliberately bypassing decades of deep-seated training from my early childhood to not swallow choking hazard things like pieces of Lego, legitimately.
Because it isn't just that I have difficulty swallowing pills, it's also the fact that if I put anything in my mouth that is not food or drink or someone's genitals or breasts, a countdown clock immediately starts in my brain somewhere, rapidly counting down on a timer, and I have to remove the thing from my mouth as quickly as possible before I start to gag. Because my gag reflex is extremely sensitive and has been for as long as I can remember. And everything I've said before now explains that gag reflex.
This gag reflex is so strong and so sensitive that all I have to do to activate it is hold something in my mouth. A piece of paper, a key, a mitten, just about anything that isn't food, drink, or a lover's body part. The second I hold just about anything in my mouth that doesn't meet those criteria, then I'm doing really good if I can hold on to that in my mouth for 10 seconds before I start to gag.
Honestly, the fact that I can put a pill in my mouth and NOT gag is a bloody fucking miracle. And the fact that I have gotten to the point where I can swallow up to 10 pills at a time is to a miracle as a miracle is to an everyday occurrence. And I once more reiterate that even swallowing a single pill at my age of 43 requires quite a bit of concentration and silence. Even as recently as a couple weeks ago, that concentration got broken by something and I coughed and hacked all those pills everywhere. Even as recently as a month or two ago, one of these failed attempts resulted in me puking on the floor. The failed attempts to swallow pills don't happen very often, but it does happen at least once every one or two months.
Hell, sometimes I still fail to swallow a pill even when nothing breaks my concentration, because every so often the pills will just not cooperate and will do something in there to hit that gag reflex and send them flying.
So yeah, add that to the mile high pile of things I wish my parents had understood when I was growing up.
Mind your own FUCKING business!
20 Apr 2026 01:49fayanoraListen, everyone: the tools disabled people need are not cheap. They're expensive. People don't get this stuff just by virtue of being disabled. Mobility aids and disabled parking placards are expensive and hard as fuck to get. If you see someone with a mobility aid or parking placard or white blindness cane who you don't think is actually disabled, just assume that you're an idiot, and mind your own goddamn business.
I genuinely do not understand the mindset of people who get involved in someone else's business because they think -- with their basically third-grade understanding of disability -- that the person isn't actually disabled for some dumbass reason like "they're not totally blind" or "they can stand up, what do they need a wheelchair for?" To those people I ask: What the ever-loving fuck is your problem? What the fuck is going through your idiot head? Why do you even give a shit? What possible way could this be affecting you? What height of arrogance and stupidity has your ego climbed to, for you to give one goddamned iota of a FUCK if someone is "faking being disabled" or not?
Are there fakers who do it for money? Sure. But they're pretty rare, and like most stupid criminals, they almost always get caught very quickly, and it's not thanks to morons who know fuck-all about disability. You are not a cop or a detective. Unless you are literally getting paid to figure out who the fraudsters are, MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMNED FUCKING BUSINESS! Because I GUARANTEE YOU that ninety nine times out of one hundred, people like you are not Big Damned Heroes who just broke the fraud case of the decade. Ninety-nine times out of one-hundred, YOU ARE JUST AN IGNORANT, ANNOYING, NOSY BAG OF DICKS IN A HUMAN DISGUISE, making some poor disabled person's day/week/month a thousand times more frustrating and painful than it needs to be. You are not helping disabled people by being a nosy bag of dicks. You are actively hurting disabled people with your ignorance and arrogance.
So once more: SIT! YOUR! PUNK! ASS, MIDDLE-SCHOOL-EDUCATION-HAVING! ASS! DOWN, AND MIND! YOUR! OWN! GODDAMNED! BUSINESS!!! Just assume that someone with a mobility aid or disabled parking placard needs it, and let the authorities deal with the vanishingly small number of fraud cases because it is -- in every conceivable way possible -- quite literally none of your fucking business, and almost certainly NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE.
This rant brought to you by the necessity of videos like this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zQtb6JkDlBE
(Don't worry, it's a short video.)
I genuinely do not understand the mindset of people who get involved in someone else's business because they think -- with their basically third-grade understanding of disability -- that the person isn't actually disabled for some dumbass reason like "they're not totally blind" or "they can stand up, what do they need a wheelchair for?" To those people I ask: What the ever-loving fuck is your problem? What the fuck is going through your idiot head? Why do you even give a shit? What possible way could this be affecting you? What height of arrogance and stupidity has your ego climbed to, for you to give one goddamned iota of a FUCK if someone is "faking being disabled" or not?
Are there fakers who do it for money? Sure. But they're pretty rare, and like most stupid criminals, they almost always get caught very quickly, and it's not thanks to morons who know fuck-all about disability. You are not a cop or a detective. Unless you are literally getting paid to figure out who the fraudsters are, MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMNED FUCKING BUSINESS! Because I GUARANTEE YOU that ninety nine times out of one hundred, people like you are not Big Damned Heroes who just broke the fraud case of the decade. Ninety-nine times out of one-hundred, YOU ARE JUST AN IGNORANT, ANNOYING, NOSY BAG OF DICKS IN A HUMAN DISGUISE, making some poor disabled person's day/week/month a thousand times more frustrating and painful than it needs to be. You are not helping disabled people by being a nosy bag of dicks. You are actively hurting disabled people with your ignorance and arrogance.
So once more: SIT! YOUR! PUNK! ASS, MIDDLE-SCHOOL-EDUCATION-HAVING! ASS! DOWN, AND MIND! YOUR! OWN! GODDAMNED! BUSINESS!!! Just assume that someone with a mobility aid or disabled parking placard needs it, and let the authorities deal with the vanishingly small number of fraud cases because it is -- in every conceivable way possible -- quite literally none of your fucking business, and almost certainly NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE.
This rant brought to you by the necessity of videos like this: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zQtb6JkDlBE
(Don't worry, it's a short video.)
Monday Update 4-20-26
20 Apr 2026 00:53ysabetwordsmithThese are some posts from the later part of last week in case you missed them:
Nature
Fossils
Read "Carcinization"
Birdfeeding
Poem: "Food Is Everything We Are"
Nature
Moment of Silence: Sid Krofft
Today's Adventures
Water
Science
Birdfeeding
Creative Jam
Philosophical Questions: Free Speech
Birdfeeding
Follow Friday 4-17-26: Merlin
Poem: "Walnut Park"
Quantum Physics
Birdfeeding
Community Thursdays
Survival Skills
Art
Climate Change
Birdfeeding
Good News
Poem: "Walnut Park" has 29 comments. Early Humans has 22 comments. Philosophical Questions: Pregnancy has 66 comments. Safety has 77 comments.
The weather has been cooler here. There's a frost warning tonight. Seen at the birdfeeders this week: a mixed flock of sparrows and house finches, a pair of cardinals, a brown-headed cowbird, a male goldfinch, and a fox squirrel. Red-winged blackbirds have been singing overhead. I heard a bluejay screaming but didn't see it. Currently blooming: daffodils, violets, tulips, anemone, Solomon's seal, pansies, violas, sweet alyssum, bleeding heart, chokecherries, alliums, lilies of the valley. Flower buds: peonies. Green fruit: mulberries. I have a bunch more flowers to plant too.
Nature
Fossils
Read "Carcinization"
Birdfeeding
Poem: "Food Is Everything We Are"
Nature
Moment of Silence: Sid Krofft
Today's Adventures
Water
Science
Birdfeeding
Creative Jam
Philosophical Questions: Free Speech
Birdfeeding
Follow Friday 4-17-26: Merlin
Poem: "Walnut Park"
Quantum Physics
Birdfeeding
Community Thursdays
Survival Skills
Art
Climate Change
Birdfeeding
Good News
Poem: "Walnut Park" has 29 comments. Early Humans has 22 comments. Philosophical Questions: Pregnancy has 66 comments. Safety has 77 comments.
The weather has been cooler here. There's a frost warning tonight. Seen at the birdfeeders this week: a mixed flock of sparrows and house finches, a pair of cardinals, a brown-headed cowbird, a male goldfinch, and a fox squirrel. Red-winged blackbirds have been singing overhead. I heard a bluejay screaming but didn't see it. Currently blooming: daffodils, violets, tulips, anemone, Solomon's seal, pansies, violas, sweet alyssum, bleeding heart, chokecherries, alliums, lilies of the valley. Flower buds: peonies. Green fruit: mulberries. I have a bunch more flowers to plant too.
Nature
19 Apr 2026 21:57ysabetwordsmithSpring is a perfect time to start a nature journal. I've been talking about it with some friends so I wanted to share some resources here. It doesn't have to be fancy. It can have text, art, photos, pressed leaves, whatever you want to include. There are different approaches; all of them are good. Grab a blank book with plain or lined pages as you prefer, something to write or draw with, and head out to your yard, garden, or a nearby park.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
Fossils
19 Apr 2026 19:28ysabetwordsmithScientists just solved a 160-million-year fossil mystery “I’ve never seen anything like it”
A rare fossil reveals that Earth’s earliest sponges were hiding in plain sight—too soft to leave a trace.
A rare fossil discovery is shedding light on the “missing years” of early sponge evolution. Scientists found a 550-million-year-old sponge that likely lacked hard skeletal parts, explaining why earlier fossils are so scarce. This supports the idea that the earliest sponges were soft-bodied and rarely preserved. The finding changes how researchers hunt for the origins of animal life.
Well, that was obvious. Soft organisms typically predate those with rigid parts that preserve better. It's still really cool to find evidence.
A rare fossil reveals that Earth’s earliest sponges were hiding in plain sight—too soft to leave a trace.
A rare fossil discovery is shedding light on the “missing years” of early sponge evolution. Scientists found a 550-million-year-old sponge that likely lacked hard skeletal parts, explaining why earlier fossils are so scarce. This supports the idea that the earliest sponges were soft-bodied and rarely preserved. The finding changes how researchers hunt for the origins of animal life.
Well, that was obvious. Soft organisms typically predate those with rigid parts that preserve better. It's still really cool to find evidence.